


You Belong With Me

by acalmingcupoftea



Category: Emma Approved
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-04-05
Updated: 2014-04-05
Packaged: 2018-01-18 07:37:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,534
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1419882
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/acalmingcupoftea/pseuds/acalmingcupoftea
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Alex would lay out his feelings like he laid out his spreadsheets: organized and with no mistakes. Everything would add up like 1+1 = 2, Alex + Harriet = Love.</p>
<p>Possible spoilers if you haven't read the novel</p>
            </blockquote>





	You Belong With Me

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for specialrhino for the beta!

Emma couldn’t hear it. She simply couldn’t hear Alex say that he was in love with Harriet. She knew that once those words left his lips she could never unhear them. Every time she looked at him, she’d know - he loved Harriet, not her.

Emma heard Alex’s shoes pause on the threshold of her office. Alex stood awkwardly, waiting for her to invite him in. It was strange to think that just days ago, she had been excited at his return from visiting Izzy and John. Now all she wanted was for him to be away a little longer. Just a little longer so she could continue to pretend that Alex’s heart didn’t belong to someone else.

With a quiet sigh, an admission of defeat, Emma pulled herself together and tried to muster a bright smile.

“Alex, you’re back,” she said, the words uncomfortable, stilted. 

At the mention of his name Alex entered the room and hovered for a moment in front of Emma, before finally sitting down next to her on the bench. Everything about this moment seemed off. His posture was unnaturally stiff and he wouldn’t meet her eyes. She could feel the muscles in her own body tense as he sat down. Normally being with Alex was like breathing, simple, automatic. But suddenly it was like the characters of Emma and Alex were being played by their understudies.

The pause between them stretched into a silence. Emma realized Alex wasn’t going to be the one to break it, so she did what she did best. She stalled.

Emma fiddled with the edge of her shirt. “So, how was LA? Are John and Izzy happy to be back from Joshua Tree?” she said, sticking to a topic that would hopefully keep them occupied for a while and away from the inevitable topic of Harriet.

“They’re good,” Alex said curtly. He knew her tactics too well

He looked over at her. “They all wanted me to say ‘hi,’” he said, giving an involuntary wave. Emma gave him a weak smile.

They lapsed into silence again. Emma, feeling she had done her part, waited for Alex to bring up Harriet, or really anything else. She hoped for the latter. Emma would even embrace a discussion of this quarter’s earnings so long as it meant not talking about Harriet. He kept casting furtive glances at her, studying her face. If he was looking for encouragement, Emma was going to give him none. He would have to tell her his feelings for her friend all on his own.

After rearranging the seating chart for their upcoming gala three times in her head, Emma couldn’t take it any more. She couldn’t remember the last time they’d been silent for this long. They could barely stay quiet through a two hour movie, Alex always making up jokes about the characters on screen, Emma trying to stifle her laughter. It was why they’d stopped going to movies the week they came out and instead waited until they knew they’d have a mostly empty theater. How, after almost a week apart, could they be quiet now? Usually, they’d be telling one another every minute detail, down to the new shampoo Emma was trying or the most recent article in _National Geographic_ Alex had read. This hollow silence felt unnatural.

“I assume you’ve heard about Frank then?” Emma asked, and inwardly winced at how forced and high her voice had sounded.

He seemed caught off guard by the subject choice though he frowned all the same. “Yes, I heard,” Alex said warily.

“I can’t believe _you_ of all people saw it even before me! I’m supposed to be the matchmaker here and I would never have guessed that Frank and Jane have been secretly married for months!”

Alex gave her a concerned look. He started to reach out but then brought his arm back. 

“In time you will be able to look back at all of this and laugh. I still can’t believe what a...scoundrel he was. I feel bad for Jane, having to be with the likes of him.”

If the air didn’t feel so thick, Emma would have laughed. “A scoundrel? Really? Have we some how been transported to 19th century England?” She said, a hint of amusement in her tone.

She saw Alex smirk and continued, “And besides I’m sure Jane is more than happy to be with him. She said as much to me before they jet setted off to Jamaica or the Bahamas or...somewhere warm and sunny.”

She nudged him with her elbow, as she said, her voice dropping to a whisper, “I wouldn’t worry too much about time’s magic healing powers. It would take a little more than that to ruffle Emma Woodhouse’s feathers.”

Emma leaned in closer to him, her voice dropping to a whisper as if sharing a secret, “Though if I feel anything, I feel so silly for not having seen it sooner. It was so obvious.”

Alex looked up from his lap and frowned. “So...you don’t feel regret? Scorned? ...Heartbroken?” he asked tentatively.

“Not in the slightest.”

“Not in the slightest…” he parrotted.

Emma flipped her hair over her shoulder. “Look, Alex, was I flattered that Frank seemed interested in me? Of course! Should I have encouraged him the way I did? No!” She threw her hands in the air to emphasize her point. 

“I will say though,” her tone becoming more serious, “Frank is good. So good he fooled even me. But I never felt we were more than friends.”

“Well,” Alex started, sitting up straighter and beginning to look a little smug, “I never had a very...good opinion of Frank Churchill. He is too frivolous with his finances, he parties too much for someone whose been out of school as long as he has. But, in the end, he got what he wanted. He gets to be with the woman he cares about. Even if she is too good for him.”

“It sounds like you envy him.”

“Heh, I guess you’re right about that. In this instance I do.” She felt Alex looking at her, though she kept her eyes focused in front of her.

And there it was, the segue to Harriet. Emma could vividly picture the next few minutes, and felt sick. He was going to confess to her that his heart had been won over by Harriet’s big puppy dog eyes and ukulele melodies, and Emma would try not to run in tears from the room.

Alex would lay out his feelings like he laid out his spreadsheets: organized and with no mistakes. Everything would add up like 1+1 = 2, Alex + Harriet = Love. 

The worst part was that as he confided in her, he would be sweet, and excited, and so, so happy. She could imagine his face, glowing, as he would detail the mundane things that made up Harriet, the things that made her perfect. The way that these feelings had snuck up on him, the way they always do. That he had never meant for it to happen, it had just...happened.

No, no, the worst part would come at the end. The part where he would ask for her help as a matchmaker.

She realized, she couldn’t do it. She wasn’t ready to give Alex to Harriet yet. She needed more time, not to prepare for the inevitable but to selfishly hold on to her best friend just a little longer.

“I see you’re trying not to pry...you really have changed.” Alex’s voice, though soft, startled Emma. She hadn’t realized how long she’d been lost in thought.

“And while I respect your new leaf, today...today I need you to pry. I need you to know what I have to say, even if in the end you wished I had never said it.”

“Then...don’t say it!” The words burst from Emma before she could stop and consider them.

“Think about it some more...before you say something you can never take back,” she finished quietly, looking at anything but his face.  
At the sound of Alex standing up, she pulled herself together. At the end of the day, she was always his friend first. Alex was her oldest - her most important - friend. Was she really going to throw all of that way - throw him away - just because he was in love with someone else?

Squaring her shoulders, she said, “Alex, wait. You’re my best friend. Of course I’ll listen,to anything you have to say. Come back.” She patted the bench next to her.

Emma couldn’t look at him. She could hear him out but she couldn’t look him in the eye while he did it. She felt the weight of the bench shift as Alex sat back down on it, careful to leave space between them.

He sat still for a few moments and she could tell he was nervous. He was doing that thing he did, fiddling with the buttons on the cuffs of his dress shirt. It was a small habit, one she had stopped trying to break years ago. She’d have to tell Harriet to ignore it, too; everyone needed their stress outlet.

Emma heard Alex open his mouth several times, his aborted sentences coming out as sighs. Clearly he understood how important this was. When he did finally speak, his first words surprised her.

“Friend.” Emma was confused for a moment before she realized he was referencing what she’d said a minute ago. She’d heard time slowed down when you were in an accident. This felt like that. 

“Friend. A word that I’ve never thought had a negative connotation.” He paused, smiling bitterly before continuing, “So I don’t have a chance, then?”

Emma’s eyes went wide as she turned and looked at him in surprise. Heartened by a response, Alex’s words gained momentum.

“Emma...Emma...You know I can’t make pretty speeches.” His hand slowly found its way to hers, clasping it gently. “You know who I am, better than most. I’m the ‘boring stuff’ guy, the guy who loves spreadsheets and v-lookups, the one who lectures you to do the right thing. I’m not a high society, rich mogul like Frank Churchill. I’m not a state senator, here to whisk you off to hobnob with celebrities and world leaders.” His eyes were darting around her face. “But, I’m always honest with you. So I...just….” He let go of her, running his hands through his hair in frustration. “If I loved you less, I might be able to talk about it more.”

Emma was in shock. This was not something she had prepared herself for. She was ready to grin through crippling disappointment. Her brain blanked, surprise frozen on her face as she tried to reconcile her expectations with reality. She wasn’t ready for this turn of events.

Alex continued to look at her, his hopeful smile fading the longer she didn’t say anything. She could almost see his mind at work, trying to think of a way to gracefully backtrack, to erase his words from the Emma/Alex relationship.

Emma tried to say something encouraging, but what came out instead was “...so, you’re not in love with Harriet?”

Alex furrowed his eyebrows, “Harriet? Me? What would make you think that?”

And then it was all spilling out of her, how Harriet had thought it was so noble of Alex to stand up to Senator Elton at the engagement party for her. How Harriet had thought those retweets of her songs and comments on her youtube videos were Alex’s subtle ways of showing affection.

“I mean, really though. Poor Harriet.” Emma said, finishing her monologue. She could feel sorry for Harriet now that she wasn’t unfairly making a list of her faults in the back of her mind.

Alex brightened at that. “Poor...Harriet?” he said, his voice sounding hopeful.

Emma scooted closer to Alex on the bench, her hand resting comfortably on his arm. She looked him in the eye and said, “Yes, poor Harriet. It’s too bad she is to have her heart broken again this year.”

Alex’s hand moved from its position on the bench and around her waist but her didn’t draw her closer. He still seemed unsure of her intentions. Emma internally reprimanded herself. Wasn’t she always telling her clients to be more direct in their love lives? It might be time for her to follow her own advice.

Even with Alex’s arms around her, surrounded by the comforting smell of coffee, printer ink and the warm underlying scent that was pure Alex, she paused. 

She wanted to lean into him, to pull him into a hug and kiss his cheek like she had a thousand times before, but she hesitated. This time was different. There was a line drawn in the sand and crossing it changed things. Yes, Alex had just told her that he loved her but that could be forgotten. She could reject him now and they would both eventually get over it.Things didn’t have to change.

She was standing on the precipice of something new, something exciting but scary at the same time. As she had told Harriet, she had never been in love before; she didn't need to be, she was “Emma Woodhouse,” and Emma Woodhouse didn’t need anything beyond that.

But looking at Alex now, the most vulnerable she’d ever seen him, waiting for a word, a gesture, any signal from her that would decide his fate, made her realize she did need something. It was the most obvious thing in the world. She needed him. She always had and she always would. It wasn’t until now that she realized this because she had had him to herself for so long. His high school flings or business school girlfriends were never threats because she always knew, deep in her heart, that he would rather be with her than any of them. But the recent agony she had felt at the thought of losing him, opened her eyes.

So Emma took the plunge into the unknown, tilting Alex’s head down towards her and pressing their lips together.The kiss was short and tentative, indistinguishable from any of Emma’s other first kisses.

But the second kiss, the one where Alex pulled her closer to him, her body curving around his in all the right places, his hands weaving through her hair, his kiss so deep she could feel his passion in her toes, _that_ kiss made her remember how incredibly attractive he was and the most important person in her life and that they could have been doing this _months_ ago, what had she been _thinking?_

They broke apart to grin at one another breathlessly, and Emma saw that Alex’s face was lit up the same way Ryan’s was when he looked at Annie. She giddily wondered if hers was, too. “So, I take it I’m...’Emma Approved?’” He asked.

Emma hid a giggle behind her hand and replied, “Most assuredly Emma Approved.” She then reached up and turned off the camera for the first time in months before throwing herself into Alex’s arms, intending to never leave them again.


End file.
